Prospective residents answer probing questions like “What are your passions?” and “Tell us your story (Excite us!).” If accepted, tenants live in what the company’s promotional materials describe as a “highly curated community of like-minded individuals.” In other words, they rent a room in an apartment in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, but with opportunities for social and spiritual growth, like dinner parties and meditation sessions.Who are these successful and hip "like-minded" individuals whom you must "excite" with your "passions" and who pay from $1,600 to $4,000 for one room (ONE FUCKING ROOM)? Well, at The Loft, it's apparently a guy who looks like Drew Carey and worked for AIG, married to a "certified life coach specializing in money and personal finance":
The Loft is currently home to six single people in their 20s, although one is moving out in September. Getting accepted into the Loft is an informal but challenging process. Prospective tenants are subjected to several lengthy interviews with Mr. Gerstley and the residents, who collectively agree on their next housemate. Usually, the process involves a fair amount of alcohol and a visit to a favored Loft haunt, Fresh Salt, a Beekman Street bar.
“We look for friendly people who aren’t super weird,” said Akshay Nagula, 24, a software engineer who moved into the Loft last October.
Challenging process? Yes, we do imagine it's challenging to spend an afternoon with these poor souls. Nonetheless, it's the underlying economics of the whole thing that leads to facepalm concussions in those of us who simply long for a place close to a subway stop and with rent control:
Another company, Stage 3 Properties, is constructing a new co-living building with 180 units to house 400 people, to be completed around 2017. Stage 3 describes its mission as “passionately disrupting the housing industry by reimagining its process, product and price points and curating an all-inclusive cosmopolitan living experience designed for today’s creative class.” However, its leases will be conventional, 12 months long.
Oy va voy, I think my bowel movements are being "passionately disrupted." At Pure Loft, I hope you get a colon cleanse with your $4,000-a-month package (which includes "massage, yoga, fresh fruits and vegetables, personal coaching and wellness counseling"). But there are loftier goals in this "creative class": the sufferers of this yuppified Peter Pan syndrome are BUILDING A BRAND:
“I wanted to live in a place where I could invite people over and we could build something that is bigger than the sum of its parts,” said Gillian Morris, a founder of Gramercy House and the travel app Hitlist, as she prepared her signature drink for the party, a mix of rosemary, grapefruit juice, soda and gin.
Ms. Morris, 29, a Harvard graduate, rented the apartment in January with two other entrepreneurs to create a household that could double as a place to build a brand. The apartment, two floors connected by a staircase with a handsome curving banister, was listed for $12,500 a month when the three rented it.
The residents (who now number four) host brunches, dinners and a meditation class, all with the intent of enlarging their social sphere.
“We’re willing to give up living alone for a few years because we define privacy differently,” said Melissa Kwan, 32, a founder of the real estate app Spacio and of Gramercy House, who hopes that the connections she makes there will help her find investors in her fledgling company. “I think as an entrepreneur, it’s not only motivating, but necessary for you to constantly surround yourself with these kinds of people.”
Of course, you wouldn't pay $4,000 each for a place without a "handsome curving bannister" (on which one could summarily impale oneself, of course, though that is an idle fantasy). At least Ms. Kwan is trenchantly honest: landing an investor isn't just about good PowerPoint animations, it requires 24/7 hardcore sucking up and, given gender inequality and sexism, God knows what else. Unfair as it may all be, we should be thankful that others are shouldering the burden of living "with these kinds of people."
But never fear, since you can always count on some Gen X freelance writer lurking in some rent control apartment, probably sporting white dreads, to call bullshit and extol the forgotten Brooklyn of the early 2000s, that golden era book-ended between Giuliani's mayoralty and 9/11 where such pleasures, such as taxidermy and rock-climbing, non-ironically proliferated:
Some critics argue that month-to-month rental agreements do not amount to a housing collective, even if residents attend social events. “To me, it seems like a bastardization of the idea,” said Oriana Leckert, the author of “Brooklyn Spaces: 50 Hubs of Culture and Creativity” (Monacelli Press, 2015).Sigh. Time to move to Topeka.
 |
| Namaste, Hate Readers |
nice
ReplyDelete